Featured Match: World Leaders XI v Real Comics
Report by Freddie Violence
This mouthwatering prospect had the fans turning up in their droves, and although I don't want to spoil the result for you, they were not going to be disappointed. Both sides had to make changes from their 100% winning line-ups. Homer Simpson picked up a thigh injury in the victory at home to Indie Kings and the Comics, short of full backs, had to put a square peg in to a round hole with Young Ones and Bottom favourite, Rik Mayall, normally a centre half, filling in the left back spot. UK Premier, Gordon Brown, saw red in the win at Fulchester two weeks ago so he had to make way for Kevin Rudd. The Aussie prime minister making his debut for the World Leaders.
The Comics started well with the league's leading scorer, Rowan Atkinson, leading the thin blue line well. After being under the cosh for the first 15 minutes the Leaders came back well and with the fans roaring them on they piled on the pressure. Eventually it was Robert Mugabe who got the break that put them one up. A long punt upfield from Horst Koehler was nodded down by Rudd and Mugabe lashed it past Simon Pegg in the Comics goal. There were chances at either end but with no real indication of the entertainment to come, the first half closed at 1-0.
Half Time: World Leaders XI 1 Real Comics 0
The second half started with a bang with Hugh Laurie tapping in his second goal of the season. However, the Leaders were playing like men possessed at times during this game and it was no surprise when George Bush headed home from a Hamid Karzai corner just after the hour mark. Then a few minutes later, Bush threaded the ball through to Rudd who went on a mazy run before poking it through Pegg's legs. On 77 minutes, Stephen Fry, overlapping with Adrian Edmondson down the right, cut in to the penalty area and smacked an unstoppable shot in to the roof of the net. If you have forgotten the score, it is now 3-2 to the World Leaders XI!
The Comics didn't get where they are today by laying down and letting a bunch of world leaders walk all over them, and Dermot Morgan equalised after 80 minutes to send the small pocket of Comics fans (behind barbed wire fencing in the corner of the ground) crazy. However, the Real Comics dream start to the season was to suddenly turn in to a nightmare. Mayall should have put the ball in to row Z but tried to dribble his way out of trouble. Shimon Peres seized on the ball and squared for Thabo Mbeki to drive home with a minute of normal time to go. With the Comics throwing everyone including Simon Pegg forward, they were caught on the break. Bush and Mugabe surged forward with Pegg frantically trying to get back to his goal but Bush calmly placed the ball in to the empty net from 40 yards to finish the game off.
Final Score: World Leaders XI 5 Real Comics 3
World Leaders
Castro Ruz, Sarkozy, Jintao, Koehler, Berlusconi, Karzai, Bush, Peres, Mbeki, Rudd, Mugabe.
Real Comics
Pegg, Mayall, Fry, Short, Bailey (c), Spikey, Atkinson, Edmondson, Morgan, Laurie, Kay.
Goals: Mugabe (31), Laurie (46), Bush (61), Rudd (67), Fry (77), Morgan (80), Mbeki (89), Bush (90+2).
Bookings: Spikey (67).
Other Matches
While the Real Comics were being beaten by the World Leaders, the Pancake Tossers were taking over the leadership of the Fictionball Premiership with a ruthless 3-0 victory at Indie Kings. The cooks were 3-0 up half time through Madhur Jaffrey, Rick Stein and Ainsley Harriott and that's how it stayed with the Indie Kings managing a spot of damage limitation in the second half. The TV Presenters shocked an off-colour God Squad with goals from Tim Lovejoy and Vernon Kay, and the gods will be angry with themselves as they were playing against ten men for much of the game. Eamonn Holmes got himself sent off after a clumsy challenge on Apollo. Standup United climbed in to the top five after coming back from a goal behind against Steel City. Michael Palin put the Sheffield boys in front on 23 minutes but Jimmy Carr and Frankie Boyle hit back for Standup.
Sporting Anchors carved out their first success of the season with a 2-0 win at home to nine man Hollywood Town. Brad Pitt was sent off on the half-hour mark; showing a couple of tricks he must have learned in The Fight Club, he laid out Matt Lorenzo in retaliation to a late tackle and was given a straight red. The Anchors took advantage and Andy Gray rolled back the years with a headed goal before Matt Lorenzo rubbed salt in to the Hollywood wounds. Jennifer Aniston then received a red card when she came rushing out to meet Gary Lineker. The former Friends star didn't look like she wanted to be friends with the Match of the Day presenter as she completely missed the ball and upended Lineker. The referee had no alternative but to dismiss the Hollywood keeper.
The Chat Show Hosts slumped to the bottom of the league after a late collapse at home to Weatherfield Rovers. The Hosts had led since half time after an Ali G goal made their half time cuppa taste so sweet. However, Ashley Peacock bagged two late goals for the Coronation Street team to earn them their first win of the season.
0 comments:
Post a Comment